A Bit about Email Scams

A slightly different ‘Bit’ this time… and sorry it has been a while. Scam emails though, hey? Who in the right mind falls from them? Mine usually go straight into my spam box, but the following was in my In Box tonight…

“We are writhing to know if it's true that you are DEAD? Because we received a notification from one MR. GERSHON SHAPIRO of USA stating that you are DEAD and that you
have giving him the right to claim your funds. He stated you died in a CAR accident. He has been calling us regarding this issue, but we cannot proceed with him until
we confirm this within after 7days of no respond.

“Be advised that we have made all arrangements for you to receive and confirm your funds without any more stress, and without any further delay.

“All we need to confirm now is you been DEAD Or still Alive. Because this MAN'S message brought shock to our minds. And we just can't proceed with him until we confirm if this is a reality OR not But if it happened we did not hear from you after 7days, then we say: MAY YOUR SOUL REST IN PERFECT PEACE"

“YOUR JOY AND SUCCESS REMAINS OUR GOAL.

“May the peace of the Lord be with you wherever you may be now.”

I have a good mind to reply by saying, Yes, I am dead, so will you stop harassing me??

A Bit About Ex's

Well it’s been quite a while since my last blog, been a bit busy – work gets in the way, plus I have other writings that are taking up my time a bit. So it is nice to put on my blog head and blog slippers and relax with my laptop and talk nonsense and rant for a while.

I know I have mentioned ex’s before and I will no doubt again in the history of this blog. But why are ex’s such... gits? I am not just talking about my ex or any of my other ex’s here, just ex’s in general. They are all, well… gits aren’t they? I can’t really think of another term to describe these people who once had a hand in helping us shape our lives and making us into the people we are… be that bitter and twisted, or just relieved to be rid of them! They are gits because I can’t think of many people who refer to ex’s a good people.

‘There’s (insert name), he’s my ex… what a sound bloke.’

‘Hey, that’s (insert name) – I used to be married to her. What a simply delightful person she is.’

‘There goes my ex, she is not crazy at all.’

‘He wasn’t a b@st@rd to me!’

No, you don’t get many favourable comments do you. As I said, Ex’s are all gits, nuff said. There are the facts/ that is the proof. But why is it, I wonder? We once ‘liked/loved’ these people. When and where do these relationships go wrong and why are they suddenly…gits?

There is a period of time that passes when they are no longer gits too, isn’t there. I must hastily add this here. When you are friends again. Sometimes. I am friends with one of my ex’s – hey, it says so on Facebook! But for a time… a few months, years, decades, centuries… those ex’s are gits.

But you cannot stop the course of time and events – you, too, will be a git, and she or he will be a git too, one day – unless you find one who you stick with. When you break up prepare to be the topic of conversation amongst your ex and his or her friends for the next millennia, on how you did this, or that, how you were like that, be if fictitious or factual and how you are pretty much a git…

A Bit About the Next Big Build Up

There always seems to be something we want to get out of the way, doesn’t there! What I am talking about is the next big ‘event.’ We get one out of the way and it is onto the next, and our lives just quickly drift along that busy river. We have just got over Christmas, and next up is Valentine’s Day. Then we have Easter, Mother’s day, Father’s day, Holiday Season and Christmas again. There just seems to be one big build up after another, we don’t seem to have time to think. Easter Egg adverts rammed down our necks until we choke on the chocolate… and what the hell are Easter cards all about!

This month is Valentine’s Day month. God I hate Valentine’s Day… when you are with someone you just cringe at the fact you are going to have to go out for dinner and pay over the odds for a meal, or double the cost for a bunch of flowers. When you are single it just brings home the fact that you are a sad lonely person, when for the rest of the year that is just fine. You know you won’t get a Valentine’s Day card, but you check the door mat just in case – even if you don’t have a door mat…

It’s like TV… Now those who know me know that I detest reality shows, but you know what time of year it is by what inane reality show is on at the moment: Big Brother, Celebrity. All utter, utter shite, and not only do we have to do our best to avoid them, we have to do our best to avoid their big build ups too…

Obviously it is all about money… but isn’t everything. I am not religious, but isn’t it a bit of a contradiction? Through religion we are taught not to be greedy, yet most of our religious festivals are all about making money through selling  cards, gifts, chocolate eggs, chocolate advent calendars and the prices just keep going up…

 

Right… now then… I quite fancy some Chocolate Mini Eggs…

Picture is of Liv Tyler - who probably reads this blog and know what I am talkng about...

A Bit about New Year and 2011

Well, here it is. The New Year. It is 2012, and the year 2011, which was limping off into the sunset recently has new left us. 2012 is like a wailing baby wanting its nappy changed. The whole build up to Xmas and New Year has ended with its orgasm, be it good, bad or indifferent and we are left to clean up the mess and look ahead. New year’s resolutions anyone? I rarely make them, as I never stick with them… Drink less? Smoke less? Lose weight? Get fit? Run naked around the street more? Learn to speak Klingon? The way I see it, is if you want to do those things, just do them anyway, it doesn’t need to be New Year. I gave up smoking in June 1999. So, no, it doesn’t have to be now you make your promises… However I have formed a nice round belly over the last month, so much so my daughter was asking when it was due, so I guess I should lose a pound or two… or three… but this is not a resolution... okay!

What was 2011 like for us? I think for a lot it was pretty crap… recession, no money, riots. It was as though a dark cloud was hanging over it all the way through. The weather did not help, but what’s new there? There has been a lot of uncertainty job wise for most of us, me included. And prices just keep on going up and up! So let us hope that 2012 is much better eh? Let us look for that light at the end of the tunnel! Hey, as I write this I am sat in my living room, no heating on and the sun is shining!

The new year is what we make it to be… we can sit around moping and deciding that it is just going to be like the rest, or we can think positive. Embrace the year, give it a big smacker on the lips. I hate it when I see people moping around and being negative. In fact it peeves me off. Lighten up! You have your health/great kids/a loving spouse/ you are not starving to death in Africa/living on the streets. But we hear them moan on the bus, or at work, we see there depressing status updates on facebook. ‘Look at me, I have such a shit life!’ they exclaim. You have a life, so use it! Oh, and happy New Year!

A Bit about Christmas

And so… another year draws to an end and another Christmas is upon us.  Some of you will have been saving up for it for a long time, others not; some will have started buying your presents in January and be all smug, others will wait until Christmas Eve and will run around like headless chickens. The build-up is always long and drawn out though, with that darn Christmas music playing in the shops, and Christmas shops sprouting up around towns and cities seemingly overnight like angry pimples selling cheap wrapping paper and cards and highly inflammable tinsel and razor sharp baubles.

You might think that I am one of those people who hates Christmas then? A Scrooge of a man, maybe. Well, no not really. I like Christmas, mostly. If anything it is a bit of a whirl wind when it does arrive after such a build-up. My day: I get up, go pick the kids up and bring them to the house where they find out what Father Christmas has brought for them… my mum and dad come round, then it is a case of hurrying to my sister and her family’s for a whistle-stop visit, the returning the kids to their mother’s, then off to Christmas dinner, back to see the kids and feet up and some Dr Who. Phew. But I guess this is the case for most people. But it is a time for family and friends, yet in our quest to see as many friends and family we stress ourselves out.

But what would I want for Christmas, if I could have anything? What would my Christmas Wish be? To be happy, I guess, to have fun, to enjoy myself. But if someone were to say to me, Hey Borg, I am a Wishmaster! Actually, there is a horror film by that name, isn’t there and you can’t really trust someone who suddenly claims to be a wishmaster, no matter how genuine he, or she, might appear… Erm.. Okay, say someone said, Hey Borg, I can grant you wish for Christmas, within reason, okay? There is a recession, even givers of wishes have to count the pennies… so what would you like? I would say, a new car… not a fancy one, just a new one, as I have to travel 30-40 odd miles round trip to work everyday and this might be the current car’s last winter of travelling that distance each day. A Ford Focus would be just fine, cheers, not interested in a Merc or anything… a nice new Ford, cheers Wishmast… er wish dude…

And if I don’t see you or chat again before the big day… Happy Christmas!

A look at a Ford Focus on Dooyoo... I'll have one like this.

A Bit about Students

I will begin this first blog of November by saying that I have never been one of those people who complains about students. We were all students once, weren’t we! However something occurred recently that has forced me to get something off my chest.

Near to the office where I work there is a sixth form college. If I leave work at the wrong time and head to my car, then all streams of student are piling down the road towards me, having finished a hard day studying. They spew forth, a never-ending flow of seventeen and eighteen year olds. Do they move out of the way as you are walking towards them? Hell no. But this is not the cause of my gripe, even though that can be quite annoying.

 

I am not sure, but I have the idea that they think they are indestructible. If I get into work early I can park on the street near the college. But when I get into the car and set off, if the kids are out of college, they seem to congregate in the middle of roads, obviously unaware that a car might well ram straight into them. They are like zombies, brainless and wandering, gathering in groups. The driver, or me, is looked upon as a nuisance when trying to pass them as they stay in the road.

 

What a strange creature the student is then. Correct me if I am wrong, but those staying on to gain A-Levels and such at sixth form should be deemed as being intelligent, wouldn’t you think? But standing in the middle of the road when there is the distinct possibility of being mowed down by a car is far from clever.

This is not all students I hasten to add, but it doesn’t bode well for the future of mankind… does it!

A Bit about Spam

Let’s pause for a moment shall we and think briefly about spam. Now I don’t mean the meat here, that tinned stuff that Monty Python liked to sing about, oh no… I mean all those emails that seem infest our inboxes like, well an infestation of… well, infesting type of things. It is all so commonplace now isn’t it! And the scary thing is we are not shocked anymore, just annoyed.

Now I have never suffered from sexual problems, but I get email upon email suggesting that I might have! I also get emails from so-called lawyers whose client has passed away leaving 5 million US dollars and that I can claim for it somehow… I don’t go into the ins and outs of this as I delete them as soon as I read the first line, which usually begins with ‘On behalf of the Trustees…’ As do I delete those emails that begin, ‘It is with gladness I write you this message, to congratulate you… blah blah…’ You know this is dodgy for many reasons, the most obvious being that no one ever uses the word gladness.

You check your email and think hey, I have got mail, only to find out that the email is in fact spam. I can’t count the amount of times I have won the lottery of something or other. My most recent was when I won a lottery from Nokia. Why or why would anyone believe that Nokia would choose some random email and decide to give them millions of pounds…? And the email addresses they give you to reply to! They might as well read Iamagullibleidiot@yesitstrue.com



No... not this kinda spam...

Spam doesn’t just infiltrate your inbox either. You look at a football score or a news item and scroll down to look at the comments only to find out some Russian woman is dying to meet you in the middle of other comments. Or that you can win Ipad and Ipods galore.  Surely people are all wise to it by now? Surely they realise that these spam are not genuine? And if that is the case, then why do our email boxes still get bombarded by a bombardment of such idiotic emails?

Anyway, got to go now, someone from the Halifax has emailed me to say I need to send off all my bank details (along with passwords)  to him, as the Halifax have lost them… banks, hey! What can you do!