A Bit about Farting

I am off camping on Saturday for four nights, so I thought I would slip in this blog before i go, on a subject we all know about.

You know, quite a few of my blogs seem to be inspired/thought up during my walk into work from the car. This morning as I walked into work, a guy (who was on the other side of the road to me) stopped, looked in deep thought, then farted. I carried on walking, laughing to myself, as that’s the kind of thing I do, and he farted again. They weren’t accidental farts too, this guy was proud of them.

Tonight, therefore, I want to discuss farting. I really don’t think we embrace (as a nation) the art of farting enough. People who fart are mostly shunned and grimaced at, when – let’s be honest – it is something we all do.

Farts have other names, too, like ‘trumps,’ or ‘poops’ or to ‘have wind,’ or ‘let rip.’ They can be silent but deadly, denied and supplied… But why do people shun them so? Heck (or hark), even Chaucer wrote about them. Flatulence is what we do… I fart, therefore I am. Yet we can sometimes be too ashamed of our trumps, especially in public places. I have a friend who brews them up and creates the loudest and smelliest farts imaginable. But would I fart in the office at work? Not a chance. Would I fart in front of the kids? You Betcha… Would I trump in a fancy restaurant on a first date? Nope… Would I fart while out with the mates? Heck, I’d let it fester so that I managed a loud one.

We mostly leave our farts for the right occasion. Not a good idea to fart in the middle of a job interview, for example. Tell me about yourself… Well, I am a keen worker, punctual… burrrrphhh…

Is it more a ‘man’ thing? Are men more proud of their farts than women? Or is it that men talk about trumps more? I could have quite an in-depth talk about farts. I wonder if anyone has filed for divorce due to their spouse’s excessive wind. That’s it, you have farted your last fart as my wife! You will be hearing from my solicitor.

Now, no one really comments on my blogs, even though I know I do have the odd reader or two, so please feel free to leave a comment – perhaps you can let me know another name for a fart?

Remember… it’s good to fart.