A Bit About set meals on set Days

Today me and my daughter decided to have pancakes – we had them for tea with tuna, mayo and cheese (she had corn as well… I don’t like corn much, but that is just the way I roll). Today is a Monday in August, and no it is not pancake Tuesday, or Shrove Tuesday, as some posher people call it. This got me thinking of other set meals we have on set days.

And why are Easter Eggs only available during Easter, I am sure they would still sell them in say, October.

Christmas dinner… why not have the same meal during Spring or something? Christmas dinner is great, even the sprouts (yes, I like sprouts… it’s just the way I roll). Turkey, pigs-in-blankets, mmmm. And why are Sunday roasts only reserved for Sundays? Don’t wait for your birthday to have birthday cake!

So, go on people… have a Christmas dinner this Saturday, have your Sunday lunch on Wednesday… eat pancakes next Thursday. Buy yourself a Birthday cake for Friday. And if anyone asks you why? Just say that’s the way you roll, baby….

A Bit about... People trying to make money out of you...

It seems to me that wherever you look there are scams or people wanting to make money out of you in some form or other. You can’t turn on your email without receiving on thousand mails about Payment Protection Insurance. You could be owed thousands of pounds! What if you have never even taken out PPI? These people don’t care, they will just keep on flooding your mail box with more and more emails. I have mentioned scams before on this blog, I know… But it just seems to be getting worse.

Let’s look at people who want to make money out of you any way they can. People phoning up and asking to speak to Mr Smith… sorry, Mr Smith doesn’t live here… okay, can I speak to the home owner? I usually hang up by then. Now I don’t even bother to say anything, I just hang up as soon as I hear that ominous pause before someone from India or another such far away call centre starts to speak.

Then there are the ones who do it sneakily, like getting you to send texts so that you can have your fortune read or something… my daughter fell prey to this recently. Basically you sent a text to this genie thing and asked it to answer a question about you, which it did, and charged you 1.25 for the privilege. She ended up spending over 8 quid unknowingly (but there are people who wasted more money), thinking that because she had unlimited texts on her phone package she could do this for free. She was wrong. Suffice to say she won’t do it again.

Won a prize is some strange draw? No you haven’t… nobody gives anything away for free. Claim your 1m win… yes, right. Pull the other one, matey…

It’s all about money, isn’t it! The internet… what a great tool, what a great source of information, but you have to plough through the dredge before you get to what you want. Let’s say you think your child has chicken pox and go on the internet to look for symptoms… First up we have mittens for sale, to stop your child from scratching themselves! I don’t want mitts, I want to see the symptoms! Stop trying to get money out of me!

A Bit about being a Bloke: Having your child move in.

Those who know me will know that my daughter moved in recently… actually she was kicked out of her mum’s and has now decided not to go back. I have to say I am truly happy she lives with me now and I wouldn’t change anything, but my gripe is (yes, there has to be a gripe, doesn’t there… it’s a Borg Bit!) the problems you face when you contact all the relevant people to tell them your child has moved in and yes, it would be nice to get some money… please!

The CSA – they treat you as though you are lying! Now, since I moved out all those years ago I have paid on the nose what the CSA have asked me to pay. Now that the shoe is on the other foot, I have to wait until I am in receipt of Child Benefit. Child Benefit: It can take up to 12 weeks for this to be processed. In the meantime I am paying out for my child and getting sweet FA from the state and my ex wife. My ex is in denial and is telling the CSA that our daughter is staying with me temporarily, which is rubbish… but hey, look at who they believe! Her. She is grabbing all the money I should be getting.  As for Tax Credit, I think it might be somewhere in the next millennium that my case will be dealt with…

When it comes to the CSA, the man is treated like crap. I know there are some out there who want to shirk their responsibilities, and do so very well. But not all men want to get out of paying anything towards the upkeep of their child, yet that is the impression you get from the CSA.The ‘all men are b@stards brigade.’  I have always paid and now I want some help myself it is not forthcoming.

So I ring the Child Benefit help line and I get, ‘Sorry all out operators are busy and cannot take your call, goodbye.’ No, please hold, nothing. A simple Goodbye. I email them. I get a reply saying it can take up to 4 weeks for my email to be dealt with.  Where’s the nearest wall for me to bang my head on to?

 But that’s what being a bloke is like sometimes.

A Bit about Email Scams

A slightly different ‘Bit’ this time… and sorry it has been a while. Scam emails though, hey? Who in the right mind falls from them? Mine usually go straight into my spam box, but the following was in my In Box tonight…

“We are writhing to know if it's true that you are DEAD? Because we received a notification from one MR. GERSHON SHAPIRO of USA stating that you are DEAD and that you
have giving him the right to claim your funds. He stated you died in a CAR accident. He has been calling us regarding this issue, but we cannot proceed with him until
we confirm this within after 7days of no respond.

“Be advised that we have made all arrangements for you to receive and confirm your funds without any more stress, and without any further delay.

“All we need to confirm now is you been DEAD Or still Alive. Because this MAN'S message brought shock to our minds. And we just can't proceed with him until we confirm if this is a reality OR not But if it happened we did not hear from you after 7days, then we say: MAY YOUR SOUL REST IN PERFECT PEACE"

“YOUR JOY AND SUCCESS REMAINS OUR GOAL.

“May the peace of the Lord be with you wherever you may be now.”

I have a good mind to reply by saying, Yes, I am dead, so will you stop harassing me??

A Bit About Ex's

Well it’s been quite a while since my last blog, been a bit busy – work gets in the way, plus I have other writings that are taking up my time a bit. So it is nice to put on my blog head and blog slippers and relax with my laptop and talk nonsense and rant for a while.

I know I have mentioned ex’s before and I will no doubt again in the history of this blog. But why are ex’s such... gits? I am not just talking about my ex or any of my other ex’s here, just ex’s in general. They are all, well… gits aren’t they? I can’t really think of another term to describe these people who once had a hand in helping us shape our lives and making us into the people we are… be that bitter and twisted, or just relieved to be rid of them! They are gits because I can’t think of many people who refer to ex’s a good people.

‘There’s (insert name), he’s my ex… what a sound bloke.’

‘Hey, that’s (insert name) – I used to be married to her. What a simply delightful person she is.’

‘There goes my ex, she is not crazy at all.’

‘He wasn’t a b@st@rd to me!’

No, you don’t get many favourable comments do you. As I said, Ex’s are all gits, nuff said. There are the facts/ that is the proof. But why is it, I wonder? We once ‘liked/loved’ these people. When and where do these relationships go wrong and why are they suddenly…gits?

There is a period of time that passes when they are no longer gits too, isn’t there. I must hastily add this here. When you are friends again. Sometimes. I am friends with one of my ex’s – hey, it says so on Facebook! But for a time… a few months, years, decades, centuries… those ex’s are gits.

But you cannot stop the course of time and events – you, too, will be a git, and she or he will be a git too, one day – unless you find one who you stick with. When you break up prepare to be the topic of conversation amongst your ex and his or her friends for the next millennia, on how you did this, or that, how you were like that, be if fictitious or factual and how you are pretty much a git…

A Bit About the Next Big Build Up

There always seems to be something we want to get out of the way, doesn’t there! What I am talking about is the next big ‘event.’ We get one out of the way and it is onto the next, and our lives just quickly drift along that busy river. We have just got over Christmas, and next up is Valentine’s Day. Then we have Easter, Mother’s day, Father’s day, Holiday Season and Christmas again. There just seems to be one big build up after another, we don’t seem to have time to think. Easter Egg adverts rammed down our necks until we choke on the chocolate… and what the hell are Easter cards all about!

This month is Valentine’s Day month. God I hate Valentine’s Day… when you are with someone you just cringe at the fact you are going to have to go out for dinner and pay over the odds for a meal, or double the cost for a bunch of flowers. When you are single it just brings home the fact that you are a sad lonely person, when for the rest of the year that is just fine. You know you won’t get a Valentine’s Day card, but you check the door mat just in case – even if you don’t have a door mat…

It’s like TV… Now those who know me know that I detest reality shows, but you know what time of year it is by what inane reality show is on at the moment: Big Brother, Celebrity. All utter, utter shite, and not only do we have to do our best to avoid them, we have to do our best to avoid their big build ups too…

Obviously it is all about money… but isn’t everything. I am not religious, but isn’t it a bit of a contradiction? Through religion we are taught not to be greedy, yet most of our religious festivals are all about making money through selling  cards, gifts, chocolate eggs, chocolate advent calendars and the prices just keep going up…

 

Right… now then… I quite fancy some Chocolate Mini Eggs…

Picture is of Liv Tyler - who probably reads this blog and know what I am talkng about...

A Bit about New Year and 2011

Well, here it is. The New Year. It is 2012, and the year 2011, which was limping off into the sunset recently has new left us. 2012 is like a wailing baby wanting its nappy changed. The whole build up to Xmas and New Year has ended with its orgasm, be it good, bad or indifferent and we are left to clean up the mess and look ahead. New year’s resolutions anyone? I rarely make them, as I never stick with them… Drink less? Smoke less? Lose weight? Get fit? Run naked around the street more? Learn to speak Klingon? The way I see it, is if you want to do those things, just do them anyway, it doesn’t need to be New Year. I gave up smoking in June 1999. So, no, it doesn’t have to be now you make your promises… However I have formed a nice round belly over the last month, so much so my daughter was asking when it was due, so I guess I should lose a pound or two… or three… but this is not a resolution... okay!

What was 2011 like for us? I think for a lot it was pretty crap… recession, no money, riots. It was as though a dark cloud was hanging over it all the way through. The weather did not help, but what’s new there? There has been a lot of uncertainty job wise for most of us, me included. And prices just keep on going up and up! So let us hope that 2012 is much better eh? Let us look for that light at the end of the tunnel! Hey, as I write this I am sat in my living room, no heating on and the sun is shining!

The new year is what we make it to be… we can sit around moping and deciding that it is just going to be like the rest, or we can think positive. Embrace the year, give it a big smacker on the lips. I hate it when I see people moping around and being negative. In fact it peeves me off. Lighten up! You have your health/great kids/a loving spouse/ you are not starving to death in Africa/living on the streets. But we hear them moan on the bus, or at work, we see there depressing status updates on facebook. ‘Look at me, I have such a shit life!’ they exclaim. You have a life, so use it! Oh, and happy New Year!